Football 2010

What can I say about the 2010 Football season for the Grantsville Mity Mite's? hmmmm..... Fun, but not a winning season. The best part for me was when I was able to pick up Grandma Walker and take her to the Park City game with me. Which we won by 2 points.

It's Not All Doom and Gloom

It's not all doom and gloom out here in G-ville as my blog might suggest these last few posts. As for an update on my little family, here goes. We spent the summer going to games for Brayden's Super League, Little League and All-Stars and for Maddie's girls softball and All-Stars. I think they both had a blast playing a lot of ball and traveling even though Brayden finished out the season with a broken wrist from a bike crash. I was helping coach Maddie's team and I got a little too competitive in her very last game and the only thing she tells anyone of her All-Stars experience was that her mom pushed her down on 3rd. For further explanation, please email me. It's quite embarrassing!
We discovered that playing in the little Grantsville Reservoir is almost as fun as fishing it and crawdad-ing may have been the highlight of each trip. We took our annual Walker Family Campout at a campground near Salina. Brandon and I played little to no slow-pitch softball this year. I think it was harder for him than it was for me to give it up. We both just got to be too busy with the kids games. And I think I speak for both of us when I say we would rather watch/coach our kids than play ourselves.
Our fall has been crazy busy with football. Me volunteering on the board, Brandon helping coach and Brayden playing center for the first time this year. He said he likes it because he "gets to touch the ball on every play". If you have to wear an "X" on your helmet I guess that's the next best thing to qb'ing.
Last week my grandma Hansen passed away. She had a large cancerous growth in her pelvis and it was only a month from the day that she was diagnosed that she died. It was another sad and painful time for us, especially my mom. It was hard in different ways than my dad's was. Too see her loose so much weight in such a short amount of time and suffer as she did the last couple of days was so heartbreaking. My poor grandpa didn't know what to do and still doesn't. My sister pointed out that Memorial Day will have a new meaning for us. It use to mean party time/ water fights/ reunion at Grandma Walker's house. Now we will have graves to decorate. Something we didn't really do in the past.
Halloween marks yet another "1st time without dad" tradition. His neighborhood regularly does a trunk-or-treat. They block off the street that my parents live on and all the ward parks their vehicles there to trick-or-treat. My dad loved to set up his fire pit, make hot chocolate in his big orange jug and serve it up to anybody that stops long enough to enjoy it. He would usually visit with his friends, try to get the little kids to say something and not just stare at him and tickle/tease the older kids. I don't know if my mom will want to continue this tradition or not. I will leave this one up to her. I basically refused to cancel the annual summer camping trip and we packed her up and made her come, but this time I will let the pieces fall where they may.

Dad & Mom

Look at these 2 college sweethearts!

If I could make a whistling noise on here I would. Aren't they a couple of hotties? In August they would have celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.

I am so proud of them. They beat the odds/statistics. And I am glad they did. They, along with my grandparents on both sides have given us a model to follow and standard to live up to. I hope Brandon and I look this good when we are grandparents.

I love you mom and dad.

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE HE IS GONE

Today I looked at this picture of him.

And it hit me like a freight train that he is gone. It's just so hard to believe sometimes. Looking at pictures makes me think about the fact that there won't be anymore new pictures. There won't be anymore new events that become memories. When I look at Shery's new baby, I am reminded of how much he enjoyed his grandbabies. And how McCoy will never know him, or understand "Mercy, Mercy".

The night that it happened I couldn't sleep at all. I had to write down everything that was going through my head. Here is some of what I wrote:

He was one of the greatest men I knew. He didn't say I love you out loud very often but we knew it by the attention he gave us. I am honored to be accused of being his favorite. And it was a compliment when someone would say I was daddy's little girl. Most recently I am especially grateful for the priesthood responsibilities that he performed on mine and my children's behalf. He was key in the molding and forming of the person I am today. He had a profound and positive affect on my life. I love him. My dad taught me how to ride a bike, play softball and drive a stick shift. He gave me away at my wedding. All the things that a girls needs from her dad. Two things I know for sure.

1. Accidents = no answers

2. Tickles, spinnies, pokes, wet willies = LOVE.

More Pictures of Dad's Funeral

Sorry I don't know how to do a fancy slide show thing, so here are some more.

Dad's Funeral

Today I attended the funeral of our dear friends' brother-in-law. As the wood casket with yellow and orange flowers rolled past us I felt like it was time to write about my dad's funeral. I think most of you that read this blog were able to attend the funeral, but in case you didn't or don't have your own pictures, here are a bunch taken by my sweet friend Raedawn.

It really was a pretty cool funeral. I think (and hope) we did his life justice with the displays, pictures, stories, talks, thoughts, Harley riders, EMT/firefighter honor guard and National Park Service friends and co-workers. It was extremely difficult to get my mom to start planning the funeral. The displays of his things and the pictures were her idea. Luckily my uncles volunteered to scan the pictures and make CD to be used at the viewing. I am eternally grateful for my extended family for helping immensely through it all. I volunteered to do the life sketch thinking that would be the least hardest because it is just the facts and dates of his life.It was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do ...... I'm not really sure what I was thinking. Sherylen begged me to sing with her and I really REALLY RRREEEEAAALLLLYYY did not want to and told her no, but duty and responsibility won out and I gave in. We talked Jen into singing as well while we were driving to Heber to meet my aunt with yet more pictures to scan. Jim did not want to speak either, but my mom has a way of talking him into things and I think that duty and responsibility probably won out for him too.

My aunt mentioned something in one of her letters a couple of weeks after the funeral. She said that one good thing that could be said of the whole tragedy was that we were brought closer together as a family. How true that statement is. So many prayers were given on our behalf, so many hugs and I love you-s said that I think for maybe a short time I felt what it was like to be in heaven. Where all my family was around me with so much love and support to offer. I really do believe that our family support system carried us through the whole ordeal and is still carrying us.

Ramblings

As I am having a hard night tonight I thought maybe writing something about dad would help to lift the sorrow. I was thinking what a horrible way to die it was for him. And how I know that he wanted to grow old like his dad and watch his kids, grand kids and great grand kids run around his yard playing and having fun all while he presided over them as patriarch. Just satisfied to give a few pokes and tickles to whoever may venture close enough for him to reach; or tease a grand daughter about her new boyfriend. He loved his parents and I think he wanted to continue in their footsteps. Someone wrote a nice letter to me and said that maybe our loved ones can be of more help to us on the other side, but I don't see how that is possible. I am still selfish and want him here with me. I hate the thought that he suffered. I hate the thought that he was scared. I hate to think what might have gone through his mind in those last few seconds of his life. I am sure they were thoughts of mom. As he always trying to take care of her.

I remember that when Brandon asked dad if he could marry me, dad asked Brandon "do you really love her?" But who can honestly love someone as much as a father loves his children. I know my dad loved me. I have never once questioned that in all of my life. I'm sure he wasn't happy with some of the choices I made, but I never wondered if he loved me.